WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
- begins in the action
- present tense (I am, not I was)
- short, sharp sentences
- strong verbs
- uses the senses (look, feel, hear, taste, smell)
- language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
- show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration)
We walk to our vehicles ready to go to the Onepoto caves. We got there after the other vehicles arrived. We open the van door and quickly jump out to get ready to go to our very first cave. We meet miss Hill by the other van lining up for the caves. I hope the caves are expecting us today. Okay lets get started on our first cave. We start travelling to the cave. We walk on the wet leaves and mud that we can see sticking up from between the gaps from the leaves We walk and walk until we meet our first cave.
I can see the people in front have me bending down on their knees and I would have noticed I had to crawl all the way out. We quickly move up when all the other kids had already been. But there were more people behind me. I start bending down on my knees and start crawling through. I turn on my head torch on and start searching if I can see and wetas beside me or above me. I crawl out from the cave and I shouted in my head “ ahhh my first cave I made it I made it can't wait for the next cave” I said. I think my liver was laughing. Anyway we all had a turn in the cave we moved on to our second cave. I said to one of the students “ Are you enjoying this because I am” “ Yes” They replied. We started moving on to our next cave. We walk on the leaves and past the trees. I see a big shelter made out of rock and I had to know that it was the next cave. It was.
I wait behind Bridget ( Bree’s mum) until it was my turn. The line moved fast and this time I didn't have to go on my knees this time. It was longer this time. It was awesome. I can see one weta on the top have the rock and three baby ones. When we got out I told another student “ Did you see a weta and and a few baby ones” “I think so” They replied. We moved on to the next cave after the other people went through the cave. I am looking forwards to go through more.
The third cave was the most difficult. I can listen to the moaning from in front of the adult in front have me. It was my turn. Oh no it was a very small cave. When we start crawling inside the tight gaps our hands first gets squished in the mud and when we made it halfway me and Marcus see a very big area. It was like half have my classroom. I climb out have the cave after Miss Hill takes a photo trying to catch up with the rest have the kids.
Finally we can have a break. We sat down had afternoon tea. Today we had four different flavours have biscuits and a bar. It was so yummy. Miss Hill gave me more. BINGO. We line up to get started for our next cave.
We enter our cave and we had to walk down on this one. I quickly turn on my head torch to see if there were any wetas. But I can't see anything but Bens fear. Spiders. We walk up onto the chewed up mud and walk our way out. We walked again and again after cave and cave until our very very last cave.
It was so incredible. Before I can even go into the cave I get ready to put on my torch and also to get my hands ready to climb. My first step in the cave. I can imagine all the insects calling my name. Ellis Ellis Ellis you may enter this wonderful cave. I walk and walk on top have the mud and dirty leaves. I walk up and down and around. I climb down the tall ladder. And Walk up ahead to the next ladder. This ladder was even longer. I climb down to the dry mud floor and walk until I can find the exit.
But suddenly there was a long mud puddle. I try to get my two hands and feet on the wall. But they keep slipping. So I had to put my feet in the puddle. I try to run the mud keeps pulling my legs. And my shoes were surrounded by the puddle and the wet mud. I get to the shallow part of the puddle and out we go. I look at my shoes and I could see it would be the new style of shoes in the future. Well the main part was to have a very fun time.